Some Female Experiences. Standard Enter and Search Practice in Immigration and Customs...

Customs Officer"Squat!! M i say fi jump up an Squat, you nuh know weh dat mean! Mi wan fi si de drugs weh you have up ina you...."

Innocent Vacationer"Pardon?"

Customs Officer"*^>*"'?/@*~"

"Target, IC1 female. Yellow Batty-rider and mesh tights. At immigration now. Do you read? Over." "Roger control. Target identified."... "Watch, do not intercept. Repeat, do not intercept. Over." "Roger." ... "Target, IC1 female. Baggage hall...," and so on, right through to the 'Nothing to Declare' channel.
... wen yuh a pass through de customs channel fi cum inna de kuntry, teck a good look around. Yuh might be surprised fi ungle si a few white-shirted officers watching yuh at de entrance. But nuh worry, because HM Customs hav nat abandoned dem posts. Dem jus a watch yuh through dem camera, size yuh up and den decide wah kind a position dem ahgo meck yuh perform inna...

Wen yuh reach deso yuh get de customary 'tug'. A Batty-rider and mesh tights on a direct flight from Jamaica is not the subtlest of smuggling techniques. At de desk, de uniformed man gives a brilliant matter-of-fact search. "Only a routine, Madam," type of thing. Yuh - relaxed, flexing de new Ragga-hairstyl' - is all smiles and politeness as him open de big suitcases. Of course him nuh fine nothing, however, him nuh happy. So den him sujest yuh travelling on a false passport and so is an 'illegal immigrant'.

But life can be a lot easier if only you would like this minor

Inside the United Kingdom if you are unlucky!